Journey to Lanna....

Our journey to Lanna (and maybe Mali) has just begun!  I'm titling this post, "Journey to Lanna" as Lanna is the former name of the capital of Northern Thailand.  A journey to Lanna is not just a journey to our daughter(s), but about our journey here! 

Mali (Molly) means "flower" in Thai.  If we do adopt a sister/twin, then this will be her name.

Ron and I have been working on our Thai adoption since May, around the same time we started our adoption for Aidan.  Although both processes are international adoptions, they are so completely different that at times, it's hard to see similarities between the two!

For Thai adoptions, there are 2 options for adoptive parents:
1.  For parents in the US, an adoption agency should be used to facilitate the application and post-placement visits.
2.  For parents living in Thailand, parents are able to forgo the use of an adoption agency and apply to adopt directly through the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSDW).  For Ron and I, this is the route we took.

Back in April, Ron met with the director of Thai adoptions in Bangkok during a day-long layover.  He was able to turn in our initial questionaire and obtained our application and check-list.  Luckily, almost all of the documents we acquired for Aidan's adoption were required for Lanna's.  As such, we didn't have to do everything twice!

Some examples of the documents needed for our Thai adoption are: marriage certificate, personal statement/biography explaining family history, statements of income, letters of employment, copies of our passports/visas, letters of recommendation background checks and passport pictures.  We also had to to have a physical performed by a Thai doctor and a formal letter completed (our doctor was more concerned with, well, puzzled by, why we wanted to adopt than he was with our health!  We now need to have a psychological evaluation by a Thai doctor- I can already imagine how this will be as we're "insane" for wanting to love a child that's not our own...)

On Thursday, Ron and I went to the DSDW to turn in our completed application and packet.  However, after waiting over an hour as the Department of Adoptions was closed for lunch, we briefly met with a social worker who didn't speak English.  She called her supervisor, who was off work that day.  After explaining the purpose of our visit, an appointment was made for the following day.

Although this was a bit frusterating, it wasn't too surprising.  A lot of things in Thailand change and happen at the last minute, and there's not always an explanation for things.

Ron and I took advantage of that afternoon and went to the US Embassy to get our final documentation- passport copies authenticated and a formal letter by the US Immigration Visa department stating that our adopted child/ren will receive US Visas after the adoption is finalized.  It all worked out and by 4PM, everything was completed!

The next morning, we took a 15 minute sky tram ride, followed by a 10-minute taxi ride and then a 10-minute walk to the DSDW.  We met with the director who spoke wonderful English.  After about an hour of going through our paperwork, we were told we were all set.  After initial approval, a social worker from Chiang Mai will come to our house to conduct a HomeStudy.  Then, our packet will be submitted to a board for approval.  Finally, we'll be put on a wait list and wait...

We learned the following...
There are about 300 families waiting to adopt from Thailand.
The wait is about 2-3 years from application approval to placement.
Last year, Thailand adopted out 350 children.  (I know, the numbers don't add up...)
The committee meets every month to match families with children.
Preference is given to families living in Thailand.
Preference is given to families open to adopting children with any degree of special needs.
The wait time is less for families open to adopting older children.

We we're on a waiting list of about 25 families living in Thailand...waiting for a referral of 1-2 children.

In Thailand, you cannot adopt unrelated children.  If you want to adopt more than 1 child, they must either be twins or siblings.  And Thailand doesn't like to adopt children to families who already have 2 children already in their home.  As Ron and I thought about this and what kind of family we wanted, we decided to request to adopt a single child OR twins or siblings.

We hope to adopt 2-4 children (or even more later on in life).  We are also open to gender, age and family background.  After working with many of the children at the orphanage who have mild to moderate special needs (almost all of which are correctible), we realized we are open to adopting children with special needs.  At first, Ron was hesitant.  But after discussing that even biological children could have a plethera of needs, he realized there wasn't much difference.  Plus, we have seen the life these children will have in here Thailand if they're not adopted...they will be shunned beggers on the street with their special needs not addressed.  Although Ron realized this may prevent us from getting a "perfect" child, we would be able to get a child or children "perfect for us" in exchange- ones that we could love and give a life that would otherwise be impossible to have and achieve.

So we sat down and made a list- what we would and wouldn't accept.  At first, Ron only wanted correctable special needs- umbilical hernias, correctable heart defects, etc.  He was hesitant about vision and hearing loss, mild limb deformities, birth marks, burns, etc.  However, we again had a discussion.  Ron's fear was that he didn't want our child to have a bad day because they lost their glasses and couldn't see at school.  My argument was that with us, that would be our child's only reason of worry, and if that was their worst day, it wasn't that bad of a day considering.  Soon, Ron began realizing the beauty of what we could offer a child.  Although the military doesn't have that many perks, it does have some...one of which is unlimited health care.  I know- this is a huge jungle of program and can be a pain to work with, but the fact that some of the best medicine is available to us and our children is a gift.  And it's a gift we can share with children in need.  With the military, our children will receive the best medical care available to help correct or address any need they have. 

After those discussions, we really sat down to determine what we could and couldn't accept right now.  A lot of it came down to the fact that we live in Thailand, where we don't have all of the educational and medical support that we would have in the US.  As such, this eliminated special needs such as Down's Sydrome and epilepsy.  However, it left a lot open- hearing and vision impairment, heart defects, limb abnormalities, etc.

We have no idea when our referral for our child/children from Thailand will come, or how old they will be, or what, if any, special needs they have.  What we do know is that we have learned a lot through each other, our time at the orphanage, and through Aidan.  We have realized that a child deserves love, no matter what.  And if we have that gift to give, then we want to give as much as that gift as we can. 

We won't be hearing much in terms in Lanna and Mali for awhile...but when we do, it will be a surprise, I'm sure! :)