I know I promised this post awhile ago, and now that Aidan is fast asleep in bed, I have the time to write it!
Taking a step away from talking about our journey to bring Aidan home, I'm going to jump back to the world of adopting in Thailand. I have realized through my statistics page that my blog draws a very large amount of interest for Thai adoptions. I also realize that very little is available on the internet regarding the process. So to those of you in the search for information on adopting from Thailand- or just seeking entertainment- this one's for you! :)
When Ron and I first went to the Thai Adoption Center in Bangkok in October, 2012, we were told that we would need a psychological evaluation done by a Thai psychologist in order to complete our adoption packet. This was a new requirement by the Thai government for all international adoptions- only foreigners needed the evaluations- Thai nationals did not (I guess by default they're considered sane- unlike us crazy foreigners wanting to give homes to Thai orphans).
We were told we needed 3 different tests done: Person, Tree House Test, the Adaptive Personality Test and a Memory test (I forgot the name). We called Chiang Mai Ram, the local hospital here in Chiang Mai, to the schedule the tests. They were aware of the tests required for adoptions and we had an appointment made on a Tuesday.
When the Tuesday arrived, Ron and I went to the hospital to meet with the psychologist. We went to the 4th Floor- the speciality floor that serves all Westerners. We went to the waiting room before being called for our weight, height and blood pressure. Why we needed these, I don't know. Keep in mind that this is THE best hospital in northern Thailand- YIKES!
Ron went first. Ron is essentially a horse of a human being, crazy fast at running, and works out multiple times a day. His resting heart rate is normally around 35-40 beats per minute. Now, this does seem abnormally low, until you consider his body make-up. Then it seems normal. Well, for our Thai nurse, his heart rate of 38 was not ok (this appeared on the Pulse-ox machine attached to his finger). Rather than analyzing why this might be his heart rate, or questioning it, she simply changed it. She wrote down "68" as his heart rate on his physical form. I know in her head, she thought, "There, MUCH better!" However, me, as a doctor, thought, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Yep- she changed his vitals- a medical No-NO!
Then it was my turn. I was beginning to feel a bit annoyed and was strongly questioning the medical capabilities of this nurse, and the hospital. When it was time for my blood pressure, I put my arm in the blood pressure machine. The machine was broken, which we learned later. The pressure cuff began to inflate, and then the machine beeped- "Unable to read." The nurse tried again, with the same results. Rather than thinking, "The machine isn't working, let me grab a stethoscope and conduct a manual blood pressure on this patient" like a normal medical professional would do, she hit the override button. The cuff inflated again, but with higher pressure. Still a beep and no reading. So she overridden again. And again. And again. Finally, when the blood pressure cuff was registering about 300, my arm went completely numb. At that time, I shouted, "OK! WE ARE DONE!" at which she immediately turned off the machine.
At this point, I had completely lost faith in this hospital's ability in performing good medicine- they couldn't even take vitals properly. I know this nurse was trained in blood pressure, and I really, really hoped she knew better than to think my blood pressure (as a healthy, in-shape, young female) was above 300. But somehow, I don't think she knew that.
Ron told me to calm down, but I wasn't too happy. I did calm down a little bit to meet with our psychologist to prove ourselves sane to adopt a child from Thailand.
We were called in his office and sat down. He was a shorter man with shaggy hair and big glasses that were ready to fall off his nose. I tried being positive and nice, but it became more and more difficult.
Our conversation went like this:
Doctor: "So you want to adopt from Thailand."
Us: "Yes. 1-2 children."
Doctor: "Why do you want to adopt? You are still young? What is wrong with you? You cannot have your own?"
Us: "Well, nothing is wrong. We know that there are close to 150 million orphans in the world and many children in need of homes in Thailand. We have a lot of love to give and want to give a home to those in need."
Doctor: "Well what will you do if you have your own child? Won't you love them more?"
Us: "Well, no. Having biological children, if that's what you mean, isn't in our plan. And we would love any child equally."
Doctor: "Hmmmmmm."
Already, I thought, "GREAT! We have to prove our sanity to one that already thinks we're insane! This will be fun!"
Our conversation continued to include topics of our work, married life, background and ages. Many of this needed to be repeated 2-3 times. And then repeated all over again when it was my turn and the information needed to be written in my chart. When we finally finished about an hour later, I thought, "We're done! You did it. An hour of awfulness is over!"
We thanked the doctor and walked out. We went to the nurses' station to check out, and were told NOW we needed to schedule our testing. TESTING? I thought that was the test! No, that was the initial interview required before the test. Oh, ok...but I thought both were scheduled today. No, just the interview? But we were told both could be done on the same day...
Nurse: "No. The doctor for the tests is not here."
Me: "Can you call them and see if we can do the testing today?"
Nurse (after she called): "They did not pick up. No testing."
Me: "Can you call again?"
Nurse: blinks blinks blinks blinks blinks
Me: "This is a hospital. You should be able to make a referral. I am a doctor. If you can't reach an office the first time, you should be able to try again!"
Nurse: blinks blinks blinks blinks blinks
Me: "Can you call again?"
Nurse: "We will call you with the appointment."
Me: "No, you can't call us with an appointment. We are leaving for Ethiopia in 4 days and need this done today, like we were told."
Nurse: "I call you."
So we left, without an appointment for our testing, and me beyond frazzled. I kept thinking, "I CANNOT BELIEVE this is the best in Northern Thailand! How on earth are we expected to be willing to have emergency procedures performed here if they can't even take vitals OR make a referral appointment?"
Ron tried calming me down. I went to get ice cream!
Later that afternoon, we received a phone call: the doctor can do the testing in an hour. We said "Fine, we'll be there."
So we drove back to the hospital and checked in with the amazing nurses :)
LUCKILY, they didn't attempt to retake our vitals for this appointment! We were called into a different office and met with who I thought was a doctor- but she was only licensed to administer and analyze the exam (a "Mrs." and not "Dr."- again, I don't understand Thailand's medical system).
We were told that we were going to take the personality tests first and we had 3 hours- that's THREE hours- to do so! WOW, I thought! Yet another fun time at the doctor in Thailand! We were give the test, which contained 456 True/False questions. Here are some examples:
"I like flowers."
"Someone is trying to poison me."
"At night, I have thoughts so bad I don't tell anyone."
"I would like to be a soldier."
"I have friends."
"I hear voices."
"In school, I was suspended for cutting up."
After the first 25 questions, I thought the test was mistranslated- "cutting up?" What was that? Then I looked at the cover page. It wasn't a mistranslation- the test was written in the 1940s. Go figure. I tried entering into my 1940-era vocabulary mode, but I still struggled with what many of the words meant...regardless, I had never been suspended in school, so that answer was false!
I tried really hard not to laugh at the absurdity of the test. Ron, who was in another room, had no issues laughing. About 45 minutes later, we both finished. We were ready for the next tests.
Keep in mind for a true medical test to be reviewed in a standardized way, the test must be given the same way, every time- same directions, same order, same questions, etc.
I went first- Ron sat outside. I was given a sheet of paper and was told to copy the pictures as best I could. I was shown 8 different cards, with 8 images total. After seeing each image, I copied it down...8 dots in a row across a page, a square with a circle in it, two triangles, etc. Nothing too complicated...and I was very confused with the point of the test- until later (ok, I'm still confused)!
Then I was given another sheet of paper. I was asked to draw a girl to the best of my ability. It was here I finally laughed. For those of you that know me will know that I am the furthest thing from an artist. I hate art and CANNOT draw! So I drew a stick-figure girl with pigtails and a triangle for a dress and and smile on her face. That was my girl. The licensed administrator just looked at me when I was done. I smiled :)
Then I was asked to draw a tree. This, I improved on. I drew a nice fluffy tree with a bird's nest, nice grass at the base, and a sun in the sky. Done! Finally, I was asked to draw a house. I drew a very basic, 2-D house with shutters, flowers, a tree and chimney. DONE! No questions were asked, no comments were made.
Then I was given a 3rd sheet of paper. I was asked to draw as many of the first 8 images I was shown from memory. AHHH- now maybe there was a point (or not)...So I managed to draw 6 out of the 8 images. I had forgotten 2 during my attempts at being an artist. When I was done, I was told, "You did very good. You have a good memory." In my mind, I thought, "I still missed TWO!"
No comments were said. No feedback given. Then it was Ron's turn.
I sat outside and heard his test. He was asked to copy the 8 images, just as I had. But then, rather than being asked to draw a person, tree and house afterwards, he was immediately asked to redraw the images, just seconds (not minutes) after he drew them the first time. Ron was able to draw all 8 images from memory. Meanwhile, I thought, "Ummmmm.....that's not how the test went with me!"
Then Ron was asked to draw a person. Then a tree. Then a house. After drawing his house, Ron was asked, "Is the door open or closed?" It was closed. "Is it hot or cold out?" Ron said, "Cold, this house is in Michigan." "Michigan?" "Michigan. It's a state in the US where it snows. It is very cold there right now." "Oh."
That was it. Somehow, Ron's testing had the order changed AND he had to answer questions. Same tests, no standards...Again, I was thinking, "HOW IS THE WORLD IS THIS CONSIDERED A VALID TEST?"
We walked out and started to laugh. I told Ron I honestly would be surprised if we were considered sane. That meant I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't pass. None of the testing made sense AND the doctors already thought we were CRAZY!
We were told our test results would be ready in a month. Upon returning home from Ethiopia, and meeting Aidan, we made a new appointment with the original doctor (Mr. "What is wrong with you?") for our results and formal letter.
We met in his office and I vowed to have a good attitude, be polite and try to see the good in this. I kept telling myself this as I watched the doctor try to locate our names in the computer.
The doctor then took out our files. On top of our file was a document protector (clear sheet of plastic covering our papers). Inside the protector were our two letters: the top letter had a yellow sticky note on it...keep in mind, these were INSIDE the document protector. The doctor tried removing the sticky note by scratching above it. After the first attempt, one would think he would have realized it was under the plastic and to stop scratching. Instead, he kept scratching to remove the sticky note. Over and over and over again. After about 30 seconds (I really wish I was making this up), the smile on my face could not have been any bigger as I was trying with everything I had to hold my laughter in. FINALLY he realized the sticky note was under the plastic. It was then he pulled out of two letters and was able to remove the sticky note. "WOW!" I thought. That was it. I had no other way to describe it.
The doctor then read our letters. MUCH to my surprise, we were deemed sane enough to adopt from Thailand. I was considered to be mildly self-centered, controlling and confident. Somehow, IQ scores were there as well...and we didn't take an IQ test. Ron and I were both rated at above average/superior intelligence. Somehow, my score was a few points higher than Ron's. However, IF they derived these scores from our memory test, Ron got 8/8 correct, I only got 6/8. How they derived these IQ points, I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe they made them up- like our vitals.
After the doctor wrote a quick summary, we received copies of the letters and our medical charts. We needed to give these to the Thai Adoption Center to complete our packet.
Once again, when Ron and I left the office, we burst out laughing. The conclusions and results were close to hilarious- especially Ron's. At the end of the day, we passed. Although I never questioned my true sanity, these tests and interviews by Thai doctors made me feel insane by their standards for wanting to adopt. However, at the end of the day, adoption once again prevailed (as well as our sanity)!
Taking a step away from talking about our journey to bring Aidan home, I'm going to jump back to the world of adopting in Thailand. I have realized through my statistics page that my blog draws a very large amount of interest for Thai adoptions. I also realize that very little is available on the internet regarding the process. So to those of you in the search for information on adopting from Thailand- or just seeking entertainment- this one's for you! :)
When Ron and I first went to the Thai Adoption Center in Bangkok in October, 2012, we were told that we would need a psychological evaluation done by a Thai psychologist in order to complete our adoption packet. This was a new requirement by the Thai government for all international adoptions- only foreigners needed the evaluations- Thai nationals did not (I guess by default they're considered sane- unlike us crazy foreigners wanting to give homes to Thai orphans).
We were told we needed 3 different tests done: Person, Tree House Test, the Adaptive Personality Test and a Memory test (I forgot the name). We called Chiang Mai Ram, the local hospital here in Chiang Mai, to the schedule the tests. They were aware of the tests required for adoptions and we had an appointment made on a Tuesday.
When the Tuesday arrived, Ron and I went to the hospital to meet with the psychologist. We went to the 4th Floor- the speciality floor that serves all Westerners. We went to the waiting room before being called for our weight, height and blood pressure. Why we needed these, I don't know. Keep in mind that this is THE best hospital in northern Thailand- YIKES!
Ron went first. Ron is essentially a horse of a human being, crazy fast at running, and works out multiple times a day. His resting heart rate is normally around 35-40 beats per minute. Now, this does seem abnormally low, until you consider his body make-up. Then it seems normal. Well, for our Thai nurse, his heart rate of 38 was not ok (this appeared on the Pulse-ox machine attached to his finger). Rather than analyzing why this might be his heart rate, or questioning it, she simply changed it. She wrote down "68" as his heart rate on his physical form. I know in her head, she thought, "There, MUCH better!" However, me, as a doctor, thought, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Yep- she changed his vitals- a medical No-NO!
Then it was my turn. I was beginning to feel a bit annoyed and was strongly questioning the medical capabilities of this nurse, and the hospital. When it was time for my blood pressure, I put my arm in the blood pressure machine. The machine was broken, which we learned later. The pressure cuff began to inflate, and then the machine beeped- "Unable to read." The nurse tried again, with the same results. Rather than thinking, "The machine isn't working, let me grab a stethoscope and conduct a manual blood pressure on this patient" like a normal medical professional would do, she hit the override button. The cuff inflated again, but with higher pressure. Still a beep and no reading. So she overridden again. And again. And again. Finally, when the blood pressure cuff was registering about 300, my arm went completely numb. At that time, I shouted, "OK! WE ARE DONE!" at which she immediately turned off the machine.
At this point, I had completely lost faith in this hospital's ability in performing good medicine- they couldn't even take vitals properly. I know this nurse was trained in blood pressure, and I really, really hoped she knew better than to think my blood pressure (as a healthy, in-shape, young female) was above 300. But somehow, I don't think she knew that.
Ron told me to calm down, but I wasn't too happy. I did calm down a little bit to meet with our psychologist to prove ourselves sane to adopt a child from Thailand.
We were called in his office and sat down. He was a shorter man with shaggy hair and big glasses that were ready to fall off his nose. I tried being positive and nice, but it became more and more difficult.
Our conversation went like this:
Doctor: "So you want to adopt from Thailand."
Us: "Yes. 1-2 children."
Doctor: "Why do you want to adopt? You are still young? What is wrong with you? You cannot have your own?"
Us: "Well, nothing is wrong. We know that there are close to 150 million orphans in the world and many children in need of homes in Thailand. We have a lot of love to give and want to give a home to those in need."
Doctor: "Well what will you do if you have your own child? Won't you love them more?"
Us: "Well, no. Having biological children, if that's what you mean, isn't in our plan. And we would love any child equally."
Doctor: "Hmmmmmm."
Already, I thought, "GREAT! We have to prove our sanity to one that already thinks we're insane! This will be fun!"
Our conversation continued to include topics of our work, married life, background and ages. Many of this needed to be repeated 2-3 times. And then repeated all over again when it was my turn and the information needed to be written in my chart. When we finally finished about an hour later, I thought, "We're done! You did it. An hour of awfulness is over!"
We thanked the doctor and walked out. We went to the nurses' station to check out, and were told NOW we needed to schedule our testing. TESTING? I thought that was the test! No, that was the initial interview required before the test. Oh, ok...but I thought both were scheduled today. No, just the interview? But we were told both could be done on the same day...
Nurse: "No. The doctor for the tests is not here."
Me: "Can you call them and see if we can do the testing today?"
Nurse (after she called): "They did not pick up. No testing."
Me: "Can you call again?"
Nurse: blinks blinks blinks blinks blinks
Me: "This is a hospital. You should be able to make a referral. I am a doctor. If you can't reach an office the first time, you should be able to try again!"
Nurse: blinks blinks blinks blinks blinks
Me: "Can you call again?"
Nurse: "We will call you with the appointment."
Me: "No, you can't call us with an appointment. We are leaving for Ethiopia in 4 days and need this done today, like we were told."
Nurse: "I call you."
So we left, without an appointment for our testing, and me beyond frazzled. I kept thinking, "I CANNOT BELIEVE this is the best in Northern Thailand! How on earth are we expected to be willing to have emergency procedures performed here if they can't even take vitals OR make a referral appointment?"
Ron tried calming me down. I went to get ice cream!
Later that afternoon, we received a phone call: the doctor can do the testing in an hour. We said "Fine, we'll be there."
So we drove back to the hospital and checked in with the amazing nurses :)
LUCKILY, they didn't attempt to retake our vitals for this appointment! We were called into a different office and met with who I thought was a doctor- but she was only licensed to administer and analyze the exam (a "Mrs." and not "Dr."- again, I don't understand Thailand's medical system).
We were told that we were going to take the personality tests first and we had 3 hours- that's THREE hours- to do so! WOW, I thought! Yet another fun time at the doctor in Thailand! We were give the test, which contained 456 True/False questions. Here are some examples:
"I like flowers."
"Someone is trying to poison me."
"At night, I have thoughts so bad I don't tell anyone."
"I would like to be a soldier."
"I have friends."
"I hear voices."
"In school, I was suspended for cutting up."
After the first 25 questions, I thought the test was mistranslated- "cutting up?" What was that? Then I looked at the cover page. It wasn't a mistranslation- the test was written in the 1940s. Go figure. I tried entering into my 1940-era vocabulary mode, but I still struggled with what many of the words meant...regardless, I had never been suspended in school, so that answer was false!
I tried really hard not to laugh at the absurdity of the test. Ron, who was in another room, had no issues laughing. About 45 minutes later, we both finished. We were ready for the next tests.
Keep in mind for a true medical test to be reviewed in a standardized way, the test must be given the same way, every time- same directions, same order, same questions, etc.
I went first- Ron sat outside. I was given a sheet of paper and was told to copy the pictures as best I could. I was shown 8 different cards, with 8 images total. After seeing each image, I copied it down...8 dots in a row across a page, a square with a circle in it, two triangles, etc. Nothing too complicated...and I was very confused with the point of the test- until later (ok, I'm still confused)!
Then I was given another sheet of paper. I was asked to draw a girl to the best of my ability. It was here I finally laughed. For those of you that know me will know that I am the furthest thing from an artist. I hate art and CANNOT draw! So I drew a stick-figure girl with pigtails and a triangle for a dress and and smile on her face. That was my girl. The licensed administrator just looked at me when I was done. I smiled :)
Then I was asked to draw a tree. This, I improved on. I drew a nice fluffy tree with a bird's nest, nice grass at the base, and a sun in the sky. Done! Finally, I was asked to draw a house. I drew a very basic, 2-D house with shutters, flowers, a tree and chimney. DONE! No questions were asked, no comments were made.
Then I was given a 3rd sheet of paper. I was asked to draw as many of the first 8 images I was shown from memory. AHHH- now maybe there was a point (or not)...So I managed to draw 6 out of the 8 images. I had forgotten 2 during my attempts at being an artist. When I was done, I was told, "You did very good. You have a good memory." In my mind, I thought, "I still missed TWO!"
No comments were said. No feedback given. Then it was Ron's turn.
I sat outside and heard his test. He was asked to copy the 8 images, just as I had. But then, rather than being asked to draw a person, tree and house afterwards, he was immediately asked to redraw the images, just seconds (not minutes) after he drew them the first time. Ron was able to draw all 8 images from memory. Meanwhile, I thought, "Ummmmm.....that's not how the test went with me!"
Then Ron was asked to draw a person. Then a tree. Then a house. After drawing his house, Ron was asked, "Is the door open or closed?" It was closed. "Is it hot or cold out?" Ron said, "Cold, this house is in Michigan." "Michigan?" "Michigan. It's a state in the US where it snows. It is very cold there right now." "Oh."
That was it. Somehow, Ron's testing had the order changed AND he had to answer questions. Same tests, no standards...Again, I was thinking, "HOW IS THE WORLD IS THIS CONSIDERED A VALID TEST?"
We walked out and started to laugh. I told Ron I honestly would be surprised if we were considered sane. That meant I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't pass. None of the testing made sense AND the doctors already thought we were CRAZY!
We were told our test results would be ready in a month. Upon returning home from Ethiopia, and meeting Aidan, we made a new appointment with the original doctor (Mr. "What is wrong with you?") for our results and formal letter.
We met in his office and I vowed to have a good attitude, be polite and try to see the good in this. I kept telling myself this as I watched the doctor try to locate our names in the computer.
The doctor then took out our files. On top of our file was a document protector (clear sheet of plastic covering our papers). Inside the protector were our two letters: the top letter had a yellow sticky note on it...keep in mind, these were INSIDE the document protector. The doctor tried removing the sticky note by scratching above it. After the first attempt, one would think he would have realized it was under the plastic and to stop scratching. Instead, he kept scratching to remove the sticky note. Over and over and over again. After about 30 seconds (I really wish I was making this up), the smile on my face could not have been any bigger as I was trying with everything I had to hold my laughter in. FINALLY he realized the sticky note was under the plastic. It was then he pulled out of two letters and was able to remove the sticky note. "WOW!" I thought. That was it. I had no other way to describe it.
The doctor then read our letters. MUCH to my surprise, we were deemed sane enough to adopt from Thailand. I was considered to be mildly self-centered, controlling and confident. Somehow, IQ scores were there as well...and we didn't take an IQ test. Ron and I were both rated at above average/superior intelligence. Somehow, my score was a few points higher than Ron's. However, IF they derived these scores from our memory test, Ron got 8/8 correct, I only got 6/8. How they derived these IQ points, I have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe they made them up- like our vitals.
After the doctor wrote a quick summary, we received copies of the letters and our medical charts. We needed to give these to the Thai Adoption Center to complete our packet.
Once again, when Ron and I left the office, we burst out laughing. The conclusions and results were close to hilarious- especially Ron's. At the end of the day, we passed. Although I never questioned my true sanity, these tests and interviews by Thai doctors made me feel insane by their standards for wanting to adopt. However, at the end of the day, adoption once again prevailed (as well as our sanity)!
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